
Seth trying to fix his bike himself.



Seth trying to fix his bike himself.


Here are some tips to help keep you healthy and germ-free during these cold winter months:

Cold And Flu Prevention Tips
Sneezing into a handkerchief just redirects germs back at you. Always sneeze outward so as to shoot germs as far across the room as possible.
Pack your sinus cavities with Vicks Vap-O-Rub to fully mentholate your respiratory system.
Do not blow your stuffed nose into tissues—this is a myth! Always suck your phlegm into the back of your throat and swallow it in great, goblike mouthfuls.
You don't have to subject yourself to other people's germs. If you see someone who appears to have a cold or fever, contact your local police department.
To prevent infections, have sick people cough into your food. This light "inoculative" dose of germs will boost your body's defenses against a full-blown infection later.
If you are a sickly, anemic, weak person, you have a higher susceptibility to colds and flu. Try not to be such a pansy-ass.
Sometimes, a severe respiratory infection will cause the lungs to fill with fluid. If this occurs, flush your lungs repeatedly with boiling hot water to clear them. A hose down your windpipe will help get around the gag reflex.
Make sure your HMO package covers visits to the Halls Of Medicine.
The flu is an extremely contagious, life-threatening disease. Flu sufferers should be either shot with a silver bullet or tortured to death by a professionally shriven, church-appointed excruciator.
To keep warm in the winter, replace your blood with mom's homemade chicken soup. Noodles should be no greater than one millimeter thick to prevent coronary blockage.
Remember: Your body produces phlegm for a reason. Always save your mucous, and keep it near you in jars at all times.
Germs generally enter the body through the skin. To protect you from infection, shave yours off.
Zinc and Vitamin C help fight colds. Vitamin C can be found in oranges, but zinc is a semi-precious metal found only in Africa. If symptoms persist, organize a jungle safari to seek out the fabled Zinc Mines of Sugolahara.
And my own addition----don't tell anybody that you might be sick because you will be shunned (I would like to thank the ladies at the park for spraying it down with chemicals and turning and leaving when they see that I am out there) You don't sense any bitterness do you?
Back in the times of the plague people would post a black spot in order to warn people not to come near. It was also used in Treasure Island to show a guilty verdict. (There are no real records of this, but it has become part of folklore so we are going to go with that) Well we are at that point in our house. Todd has the swine flu. (think of grave serious music at this point) I have been going to the park in front our house for the past few weeks and hearing the talk about AAHHHHH SWINE FLU. The women carry hand sanitizer and clorox wipes with them at all times. Well I am now the carrier of this certain death so we will be ostracized at the park for the next little while even though the rest of us are not sick. I Cloroxed everything yesterday and stripped the sheets off of all the beds. I also went and bought all new toothbrushes. Todd has been banished to his room for the next few days. I also called the school (which I am sure is where he got it from in the first place) The next dilemma came with the decision of whether or not to send the other kids to school. We got a paper home from the school at the beginning of the year saying if one of your kids was sick to keep all of them home. In the end I decided to heed the doctor's orders and only keep them home if they were running a fever. I checked both Hannah and Joseph for fevers before they went this morning and told them if they started to feel bad to make sure that they called home. 


were in my group. Other than about 1/2 hour of pouring rain in 
